Vert's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Scorched Earth: The Movie]

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... pretty funny and, most importantly, featuring that fantastic, classic game, Scorched Earth. I have many fond memories of cut throat duels with my friends playing scorched, so extra points just for that, though I did wish the movie had stuck more to the classic gameplay before going into the silly mode. On technical aspects, pretty nifty, well animated, using simple but effective graphics (as it had to be, after all scorched never had exactly fantastic graphics). The sound was pretty good, except for the song from the final sequence, which, incidentally, was a bit too long. Still, a good solid movie.

TmsT responds:

I reckon Scorch could do with a few mushroom clouds meself... But yeah. A great game, worthy of a movie.

[Wade, I'm Coming Home]

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... nope, that zero in the overall is not a mistake. I'm going to divide this review into two parts, one technical, the other explaining my zero. First part: technically, that pretty decent. Some good drawings, nice soundtrack and some good timing (that is, coordination between music and on screen action) surpassed the lack of animation, though the hair in the wind thing was nice. More "action" could improve the movie, especially when the music goes more up-tempo (the “I’m going home part”). Finally, the overall style of the movie was good, though (what I suppose is) the humor part was lacking.
The second part: I don't want to go into much detail, but it's as simple as this: SevenStar linked to a pedophile web page. A pedophile page. I'll say again, one last time: A P E D O P H I L E page, to which, incidentally, he gave no warning that it was as such. That, in my book, deserves much more than the simple deletion of his account, he should considered himself lucky to have gotten away with such alight punishment.
So, by defending SevenStar, be it seriously or not, you are defending someone who linked to a pedophile page. Do you seriously understand just how horrible a thing that is? I stand by Wade's decision of deleting SevenStar, as I think he deserved more.
Some sort of answer would be nice, but not necessary, especially since the given space for reviews and answers is so small. Oh, I'm kindly asking you to refrain from "OMG YOU R TEH L000ZER" answer. I've given a fair opinion on the movie, all I'm asking is for a fair answer.

xtil responds:

i love how you SS haters think you're above us somehow and you can tell us what and what not to do.
we own the portal and there's nothing you can do about it.
i don't care about what sevenstar did. i don't care about reviews like this, i don't care about newgrounds.
welcome to the internet - it's a playground, not a beauracracy.
you've gotta learn how to have fun.
but you never will.
keep dishing out those 0's, old buddy old pal.

[BadGuys]

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... that insanely brilliant! Funny as hell, complete random, simple drawings and animation (but they were perfect for this movie), great voice acting... but in the end, it all comes down to the humor. Good timing (as in the constant wackiness of it all) is the hallmark of a good movie. =]

ChrisNosal responds:

Thanks a lot.

[Faust - Episode 1]

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... well, movie wise, that was pretty good. Since your adpating a pretty verbose book, you can't really expect much "action" and thus the merits of your animation techniques can't really be questioned. In terms of drawings, however, pretty slick not overly stylised stuff. The music was apropriate for the scene (albite a little repetitive) also. Just one thing: ever read Don Quixote (Miguel de Cervantes) or (the highly underrated) Gulliver's Travels (Jonathan Swift)? Try these books before procaliming Goethe as the greatest ever. =]

TheZebu responds:

I've read both, and while both are good books, Goethe's Faust pwnz all.

[Pico VS Zombies DoD]

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... Evil Dead, Dead Alive (Braindead), Dawn of the Dead... you've seen these, right? Cause that was filled to the brim with Romero, Raimi and Jackson (and you really should point out these films to people, if they inspired you, by puting it in your coments). And since I love these guys, how can I possibly not vote five? =]

SickDeathFiend responds:

All those movies not only inspired this, but its a tribute to them aswell.I should have listed them, but I thought it was overly obvious heh.

[Knoxs "Reloaded" 5]

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... well that was pretty funny. Specially the random part. But it is getting a little repetetive, your style that is.

Knox responds:

my newgrounds deathmatch will be awesome :)

[Detective Frofrog 2]

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... finally! Finally! I may baske in the glory that is FroFrog! Marcus, you rock! The movie is, bar very little, perfect! The jazz, the humor, the animation, the EVERYTHING! The current score is to low for a movie like this, it deservers much much more! Oh, and maybe now I can say that this is better than Ytown Public....
On a side note, I too am a student of phisics (third year), so I'm AMAZED you find time to study AND create something so brilhant like this...

McRhyme responds:

Yes, finally! I have won over the Ytown Public fans, so they now like Frofrog.

Yes, I study engineering physics at the university of Lund in Sweden. It IS hard to find enough time, but last summer I didn't have a job and I used all my engery to complete this episode.

Physics sure is fun, and math too...

Have you seen my Frofrog store?!
It has some great stuff:
www.ytoon.tk

[Banana's Switch]

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... well, he had it coming to him. Did you know that Wade considered banning him a while recently? He put a post asking everyone to vote and (alas) bana continues... he's such a moron.

Da-Dinictus responds:

Aye, I know. I believe someone over at the Crew made a spoof of Clock Clock's image to 'support Banana, save the ClockCrew' reading 'fuck Banana, save the ClockCrew', or something like that.
Yeah, I agree to the fact that he had it coming. But we're Clocks. We're about luev <3

["R"]

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... well, to begin with, I'd like to make a small correction on Zeno's paradox. It is no longer a mystery (so to speak) and can be "solved" with a little knowgledge of Calculus. Roughly speaking, if we take the limit x->oo (x going to infite) in Zeno's paradox (or something like that, I don't remeber excatly), we see that indeed Achiles does reach the turtle at one point. Apart from that, this is a excelent movie. You go through the view points of many classic philosphers and propose your own viewpoint (which reminded me of another philosofical viewpoint, but I can't remember quite what) which although I don't agree completly (and cannot possibly express my own viewpoint in this limited space) was interesting and well thought. All in all, a great concept and a great execution. =]

Da-Dinictus responds:

Yes, with a limit, Achilles passes the tortoise. But, seeing from his earlier views upon time as infinite amounts of 'shots of stasis', the tortoise will always be ahead of Achilles.

[Sonics Boner Quest 3]

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... nice...

ChEsDeRmAn responds:

thanks for that immensly detailed review lol